"I was wandering in the rain/mask of life, feelin' insane"

What a way to start off a Monday!  Bitterly cold, wet, flurries of snowflakes--everything you need to have a good, long, cold, snow-filled, winter.  I'm being a little sarcastic, because the weather channel always predicts that there will be a lot of snow ("2 inches in the lower elevations, possibly reaching up to 6 inches of snow in the higher elevations...").  Blah blah blah.  If they actually took a look outside, they would notice that the temperature hasn't even hit 35 degrees Fahrenheit yet and that the moment the tiny snowflakes hit anything, they turn to little drops of water.  It's about as good as rain.  I don't know which is worse--or better.  What a way to start off a Monday...

In the more positive news, even though I'm in high school, and we all know high schoolers don't dress up for Halloween, I'm going to dress up this year.  I always have and always will (until I get to the point, probably in college, when I can't anymore).  That's just stupid to say that high schoolers are "too grown-up" and self-conscience of their image to go out publicly dressed as a bumble bee.  Just because we're in high school doesn't mean you can't skip out on all the fun of Halloween (and the candy, too).  That once you're in high school, it's not "cool" to dress up is just something middle schoolers who try to act all grown up say.  They just don't know, and won't know, until they actually reach high school and figure it out.  I won't mention what/who I'm going as for Halloween until Halloween or the day after.  I love my costume, but my makeup is the best part about it.

I recently signed up for talenthouse.com.  I don't know what I'm going to do on there yet, but I just signed up because I could.  I'll find a use for it...someday, I hope.

I was practicing with my makeup for Wednesday (for all of you who don't know, that's Halloween) and I scrubbed my face for two hours trying to get the stuff off.  It's still on there; I used an eyeliner pencil on my eyebrows, which was a mistake, because now the black eyeliner is plastered on my skin underneath my brows, and it won't come off, making them look extra, extra black.  I never wear makeup, so I still have traces of eyeliner in my eyelashes, making my eyes look darker and more dangerous-looking.  When I look in the mirror, I barely see myself, because the eyes are always what you look at in the mirror.  Oh well; I like looking strange anyway, so I guess this makeup thing isn't such a problem after all.  (You can probably tell I'm not used to makeup, just from the way I described this, haha.)

I don't know me anymore
The eyes that gaze back at me from that crooked glass
Do not belong in my head
They do not know me
As I do not know them
The day that winter began

--Emma Keynes

© 2012 Emma Keynes

"People say I'm crazy/I've got diamonds on the soles of my shoes"

I sing.  If you haven't looked at my profile, now you know.  I just love the music from the 60's, 70's, and 80's.  Diana Ross, Simon and Garfunkel, Michael Jackson, Culture Club, Cyndi Lauper, and Depeche Mode are some of my favorites.  My brother made this little poster for me:

Well, actually, with Depeche Mode and Cyndi Lauper, I only like a few of their songs, but those few songs have made it into my all-time favorites list: "Karma Chameleon," "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?", "Blasphemous Rumours," and "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun."  With Michael Jackson and Simon and Garfunkel, I know most of the songs by heart.  I like most of Culture Club's songs, and have fun singing them.  My parents like to put in earplugs, and my brother yells at me, but it doesn't bother me, because I love to sing.

A few years ago, when I was really into Michael Jackson, I had a lot of fun dressing like him.  I turned a pair of my sneakers into sequined shoes and went through a crazy let's-dress-completely-in-sequins-and-too-short-pants period where that's basically all I wore for weeks.

I love dressing up.  I've been doing it since I was old enough to choose my own clothes, but now that I'm in high school, I've toned it down a bit.  I do still dress up, though.  All the time.  I experiment with the hundreds of clothes I own.  My closet is filled, not with regular clothes, but rather with my "dress-up" outfits, of which I have many--too many, my mother complains, but I say you can never have too many extravagant outfits, and I know I'm right.

The flowers dance

Like playful children

Flying with the wind

The waves play

Their sweet violins

A symphony of nature

The Earth sobs

Like a child

Who has lost laughter

The sun smiles

Down upon acres

Of rolling hills

--Emma Keynes

© 2012 Emma Keynes

"Do you really want to hurt me? Do you really want to make me cry?"

In elementary and middle school, I was in a class where I was teased and made fun of for being slightly different.  Since then, I've learned to laugh at some of the things they said about me.  It helped develop in me my sense of humor that some people find unique.  I laugh at almost everything, even if it really isn't funny.  Like, come on, who said a panda pulling its fur out with its paws was funny?  I'm laughing even now.  But really, if you think about it the way I do, it is absolutely hilarious.

People have called me a strange bird.  But who ever said a bird was in any way strange?  Birds are birds.  A vulture, no matter how repulsing, is still the same as a beautiful red-breasted robin.  So what's the difference?  I know the answer to that quite well.  The reason a vulture is called a strange bird is because it has a reputation for being a nasty, carcass-eating bird of prey with an ugly bald head, while a robin is tiny and delicate and has beautiful colors, and who lays tiny blue eggs and sings a sweet song.

But enough about birds and how I'm a strange one, even though I am obviously NOT a bird.

Sometimes I can't forget what things were said back then.  Some comments, like "You'll never fit in" have still stuck with me.  But look, I can make anything funny, so that kid who said "You'll never fit in" actually ended up leaving the school because he was the one who didn't actually fit in.  That's true.  I'm not making it up.  (So haha to him, because I ended up winning the war even though I lost 98% of the battles!!)

When you laugh at me,

I know you don't mean well.

But when I laugh at you,

I laugh because you make me.

--Emma Keynes

© 2012 Emma Keynes

"I've got to be where my spirit can run free..."

I look different and people feel uncomfortable when they're around me.

Because you read the title, you probably think you know what this blog is about.

"Just an Unusual Girl."

Simple.  You're probably thinking that this is about how weird or strange I am, but I'm sorry to tell you that you're a little bit wrong.  You're right in thinking that I am a bit weird and strange--well, the title does say "unusual"--but because of that fact, I'm not going to lament about how I wish I was like all the other girls my age.  That just gets boring.  So I apologize to all of you who expect that.  That kind of thing just doesn't interest me.  I have enough going on in my own life to read about how annoying someone else's is.  Come on, do you really want to read about all that?  Unless someone's life is so spectacularly terrible that you just can't help wanting to know what happens every second of their blogging life and can't stay off their page, that subject so terribly tiresome.

I know I'm different.  I don't regret it.  I take pride in the fact that I'm different from all the rest.  And I'm not alone in being so.  There are plenty of celebrities that are strange (and by strange, I mean I admire them), mostly musicians, but those are the people I find I can relate to.

I'm interested in what no one else thinks is cool.  I love the music from the 60's, 70's, and 80's and think old British literature, like Jane Austen and the Bronte sisters, and British history is fascinating--especially King Richard III.  I also like to read a lot and write anything: stories, poetry, songs, and the like.  Music releases me from the craziness of everyday life and I love learning about my ancestry, something a lot of people don't really care about these days.  I was just born 30 years too early.

I don't mind that people think I'm weird.  I'm glad I can distance myself from my generation, because honestly, I don't have anything in common with them.  I relate more to my parents' generation in terms of music, and even my grandparents' generation involving literature.

I'm also going to use this blog to post some of the poetry I write.  I'll try to end every post with a poem I've written that I think ties in with the title of the post.

No one can hurt me now
I don't care what you think
I'm away from the world
I don't care what you say
Because I'm happy the way I am

--Emma Keynes

© 2012 Emma Keynes